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"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." - John 8:32
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Author:  Jim Wrenn
Bio: Jim Wrenn
Date:  April 30, 2007
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Majority Leader Harry Reid and Speaker Nancy Pelosi Provide Extra-BackPacks Support for the Troops in Iraq.

April 30, 2007--

To negate once and for all the right-wing claims that the Democratic Leadership is undermining our troops' morale and their efforts in Iraq, Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi provide conclusive proof-- backed up by video*-- that to remedy President George Bush's failures properly equip our troops, they're providing "extra backpacks" support for our troops in their uphill battle in Iraq. (*To view 320x240 version of the video for medium-speed connections click medium speed; for additional size/connection-speed configurations, go to Extra BackPacks at PoliSat.Com.) In a joint news conference announcing their actions to provide such support, Majority Leader Reid and Speaker Pelosi read two of the countless letters of thanks they've received from troops in Iraq.

A telegram from one of our marines, who signed simply "Semper Fi" (as is the custom of marines), said:

To Majority Leader Reid and Speaker Pelosi. STOP.

Re your providing extra backpack support STOP.

For our uphill battle in Iraq, for our thanks STOP.

Running out of breath, now, so, for thanks from me STOP.

STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP

An email from an Army Ranger said:

To Majority Leader Reid and Speaker Pelosi:

The extra-backpacks support you're providing for those of us engaged in uphill battles in Iraq appear have the greatest value in preventing us from making the tactical fog-of-war mistake of rushing up-hill too fast. We are testing your theory that when the enemy at the top of the hill sees us advancing up the hill more slowly and methodically, they will exhaust themselves running down-hill towards us and that the extra backpacks will enable us to defeat them. However, having noticed that the extra backpacks come equipped with two sets of legs making them capable of self-locomotion, I think they could be used more effectively if they could (or would) self-locomote ahead of us during uphill battles.

Sincerely,

Cpl. Schudda Eufaise.

Perhaps most poignant, however, was what is clearly "constructive criticism" by regular-mail letter from a Navy Seal:

To Majority Leader Reid and Speaker Pelosi:

I assume that in providing extra-backpacks support to the Marines and Army, you didn't intend to overlook those of use who serve as Navy Seals. Therefore, I think it's incumbent upon me to let you know that the main problem with the extra-backpack support is that it just doesn't float.

Sincerely,

Lt. Cmdr. Weashu Wurhear.

After reading those letters, Leader Reid and Speaker Pelosi said, "Unlike Bush, who seems eager to claim success for his 'surge' strategy despite it's obvious failure, we're proud to say that in every instance in which we've provided "extra backpacks support" for the troops, our doing so has advanced our goal." "Hear, hear," said John Murtha. "Here, here," said Ted Kennedy.

The press spokespersons for several of the Democratic candidates for the 2008 Democratic nomination for President issued press-releases in response to the Reid/Pelosi extra-backpacks support for the troops: Barak Obama's campaign spokesperson said, "We need to explore the idea of whether such extra-backpacks support should also become standard issue for first-responders, such as police, firemen and SWAT-team members." Senator Clinton's campaign said she thinks "extra frontpacks would have been more helpful." Joe Biden succinctly said said extra-backpacks are "okay" as long as they're "clean and crisp." Dennis Kucinich said, "I was an extra-backpack supporter long before any of the other candidates."

Tony Snow, having just returned to work following cancer treatment, said, "President Bush agrees with the email from the Army Ranger and the 'constructive criticism' offered by the Navy Seal. Vice President Cheney said the observations by the Navy Seal were "slam-dunk correct."

Jim Wrenn, Editor at PoliSat.Com.

Permanent link to version of this commentary containing active links, is HERE

Jim Wrenn
Political Satire/Commentary at PoliSat.Com (Editor)

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Biography - Jim Wrenn

Jim is a proud descendant of 18th Century criminal exiles from England who swam to the Outer Banks when the British ship taking them to a Georgia penal colony sank in a storm near Cape Hatteras. Having the prescience to prevent their descendants from becoming "TarHeels," they immediately migrated to Virginia, where, within just a few generations they worked their way up into poverty. Jim's grandfather was the first in the family tree to see the distant horizons, but his career was cut short by severe injuries he sustained when a cousin cut down the tree.

After a brief stint in the Amry (ours) following graduation from law school, he began his legal career in the state bureaucracy but was never able to break into the federal bureaucracy. Several years later, he entered the private practice of law and co-founded a small law publishing company. Later, finding the publishing of small laws unstimulating and finding his private practice too private to be lucrative, he began writing political satire/commentary. His greatest vice is taking himself too seriously.

He wrote the definitive books on the Clinton Era Error: the Clinton Liebrary Book (pre-October, 2000), which he later updated as the Clinton Liebrary Book 2001 Edition to include Election 2000, the post-election shennanigans, and related events through August, 2001. The 2001 edition is the only known literary source that conclusively shows why Bill Clinton pardoned Susan McDougal but not Webster Hubbel. It also presciently contains the Billary/Hillary Dueling Memoirs. At every opportunity he shamelessly promotes his books for orders on-line or by fax at www.ClintonLiebraryBook.Com. He's also the Librarian at the Clinton Liebrary (www.ClintonLiebrary.Com), which owns exclusive rights to Bill Clinton's most famous speech as well as Bill Clinton's comments after revelation of the identity of Deep Throat in 2005.

As an amateur scientist as well as a scientific amateur, he de-bunks the man-is-causing-Global "Warming" theory, and predicts that by the middle of the 21st Century (when he will be safely dead) physicists will discover the obvious flaws in Einstein's Theory of Relativity, which will lead to vastly-faster-than-light travel through polarization of gravity. As a constitutional-law scholar, he's trying to teach those who hold a static, zero-sum-game view of economic and social theories to understand that "property" is not a "thing" but rather is a human right.

Although he regularly teaches Continuing Legal Education courses to lawyers, he's too-often available through he Rubber Chicken Speakers Bureau to speak on politics, satire, etc., at luncheons, dinners, root canals, funerals, etc. His speaking fees are so outrageously high they border on criminal price-gouging, but as a free-market advocate, he defends his fees on the higher moral ground of charging whatever the traffic will bear. For more information (surely more than one would want or need), go to www.PoliSat.Com.


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Copyright 2007 by Jim Wrenn
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