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"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." - John 8:32
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Author:  Kamala Budhathoki Sarup
Bio: Kamala Budhathoki Sarup
Date:  March 25, 2016
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Since my older sister died. Life, And Love in my definition.
My Older Sister died of Breast Cancer. My sister, was diagnosed with triple negative metastatic breast cancer. Life, Love, Peace and Freedom in my definition, has been an extremely sufficient subject matter.

Kamala B. Sarup My Older Sister died of Breast Cancer. My sister, was diagnosed with triple negative metastatic breast cancer. Life, Love, Peace and Freedom in my definition, has been an extremely sufficient subject matter. My heart has still been confused. This heart couldn’t have believed that my older sister Bimala died of breast cancer a month ago. It is how a strange thing having a lonely experience. But today, it is being felt that these all have added more pain.

‘Your older beautiful sister’ my heart had been depressed and stunned with this incomplete sentence of my brother before the telephone ring and without I have time to speak. ‘What trouble has occurred to my sister, ?’ to answer my question brother spoke without taking a breath ‘she was a great woman and she had been battling cancer. We lost her today.’, brother did not complete his sentence. He did not give any reply about my curiosity and he put down the phone receiver instantly.

My sister was an energetic and a very beautiful young woman and everyone would respect her. The past events are giving pain like dream. ‘You know sister, I’m going to get very good gold ring at the coming month. Heart has been delighted with happiness.’ I remembered how mother and sister were talking inside the room while we were preparing tea in the kitchen.

In the time of November, it was so good to have milk tea. So, at the same time, my younger sister Sharmila also had expressed her feelings of heart to me. Really, older sister Bimala was so beautiful and bright as the moon in the mid-night. Her face was still brightened with happiness.

I can’t even imagine what might have happened to my family after she has left this earth. My heart is burning. Heart is aching and I have lost energy completely to console the heart. Frequently, heart is not accepting the death of my sister. It has been three years since she spoke without taking a breath. From that very day I said that, she was really not only a woman with an ordinary heart, she was a brave woman.

"Why my sister died? My heart voice made even sorry to myself? ‘Cancers are above the law and cure.’ Father expressed dissatisfaction. Father also did not wish to talk much and put down the phone.

The last year in the month of March, my sister had come to visit my mother. She had talked with mother with the same cheerful and active manner. ‘When we were born we came with empty hands and we will go with the same empty hands. Therefore, it is not good to die for wealth.’ she added to the satisfaction in that evening. ‘The short life is to laugh only. Oh, how pleasant that evening was! In the shining moon of the evening children were playing on the yard, green trees in the distance, the sounds of birds, moreover the whole city was swinging with the wedding of our friend . The whole city had been full of music.

My sister began to cook in the kitchen whenever she would come at home she always would cook herself. ‘I’m a lucky mother, for I have a daughter like Bimala. It might be the result of the past life’s deed to get a good daughter who supports in happiness and in trouble.’ My mother had spoken looking from the corner of her eyes to her. ‘ it is not possible not to give support in the time of need,’ she had responded. ‘What was the fault of my beautiful sister? I put cross-question to myself but I don’t have the answer because there is no one who understands the value of the death of my sister. The number one kind and helpful sister, the beloved who would treat equally to the poor or rich and big or small. No one could be satisfied without coming at her house to talk every day from children to the bed ridden old ones.

‘Nowadays, I am in pain. I am battling Breast cancer. One should go for hospital putting life on the palm.’ Ever cheerful face of my sister, on the friday morning was looked down. She said with darkening face, ‘I might die’ without completing her sentence her eyes came to be filled and broke into tears like a small child. Up to this my age, I never had seen her weeping so heart-brokenly. Instantly, mother also had started weeping with her.

My sister had made clear in letter of twenty/twenty five days before – ‘spend your life with full enjoyment, Kamala ! I would like to give you best wishes for your happy life. I am in dilemma and in pain. To whom should I tell the pain? I have begun to feel better to die than live.’ This way she had written a short and incomplete letter. My heart has been pierced with each and every word of her letter.

‘It is harmful to become sad recalling the past incidents, therefore we should live cheerfully in this short life.’ some of my friends, began to convinced me, yesterday. Tears were flowing continuously from my eyes. I understand, god will try to wipe away the tears and remove my pain. It is darkened in the heart, too.

I’m analyzing the difference between living in a happy moment and in a sad moment, ‘Listen, one day, we all should go leaving the earth and we can’t stay here in this earth forever though we desire it. Your older sister went sooner and counting today and tomorrow we also shall go one day’ My friend, again began to console me trying to remove my sadness. This moment, happiness has disappeared on the face of me. While consoling me there is tears in my eyes and my voice is trembling. The photo of sister taken is hung on the northern wall in the room. Now, my eyes have stilled on the photo. I am weeping incessantly keeping the photo on my chest.

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Kamala Budhathoki Sarup

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Biography - Kamala Budhathoki Sarup

Journalist and editor Kamala Budhathoki Sarup specializes in reporting news and writing stories covering Freedom, Peace, Public health, Democracy, Women/Children, development, justice and advocacy from her location inside the United States. Human rights, anti-terrorism, and economic development are also part of the work. She is an editor for (To promote freedom, democracy, anti-terrorism, Literature, women rights, public health, peace and empowerment ( has a strong role to play). Its activities support in societies undergoing crisis and changes. Ms. Kamala Budhathoki Sarup has also written numerous reports which includes "Women's Empowerment", Prevention of Trafficking in Women Through Media," and "Efforts to Prevent Trafficking for Media Activism." You can see her work online now via her website Kamala is a regular contributor to Cape May County Herald. Kamala also was a regular contributor to UPI- Asia News. She also published two Stories collections and several poems. Her interests include philosophy, feminism, political, socio-economic and literature. She also is experienced in organizational and community development.

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