Friend,And Her Decisions My friend is incapable of coping with a situation with enormous difficulties that emerge due to limited financial income.
by Kamala B. Sarup
friend is incapable of coping with a situation
with enormous difficulties that emerge due to limited financial income.
I know that her boyfriend, like in the past years, will not send any
letter, not offer any communication - she does not know, is he dead or
alive. My friend crying all the time with the
thought of her boyfriend's harsh treatment.
I too get completely
exhausted trying to console my friend and cry a lot. This crying has no
end. There is no solution except to get emotionally upset and drop tears
incessantly. Her boyfriend left her to join the foreign job. She tries to
remember him, but a dim memory of a shattered girl and her boyfriend has
no value. She goes on relating to me how she met her boyfriend for
the first time at the market, "Kamala, I was poor.
I used to gather
firewood and carry it to the town to sell. In the meantime, my boyfriend
had come from the job on leave. He was quite handsome to look at. We
fell instantly in love with each other. I left the city and my dear
friends, to come to a big city. He went
back to his job but returned to me every year.
He brought many things
for me. I was happy, but, I heard sometime later that he married another
woman." My friend couldn't control herself further and cried
bitterly. I know it fully well that after this, her boyfriend didn't send
any money to her nor did he visit her at any festival then on.
friend started a small tea stall and she made her living somehow. The
tea stall was her necessity in the process of living and she has spent
years on it. "Kamala, I am not getting married again, even a
handsome young man has come from the city and liked me recently." When
she told me this during our meal time I was speechless, and later
asked, "Which one are you talking about?" "The same one who comes to drink tea everyday," her mother laughed.
My friend replied in a not too certain tone, " When I go away after
getting married, my mother will be left all alone. I do not want to
leave her all by herself, perhaps I am unable to leave her that way."
Her mother became serious and said, "maybe after your marriage I will
also find happiness. It is said that he has a good income. He is quite
an appropriate husband for you!" I just smiled for her sake. I feel like laughing at words like earning, and appropriate.
I naturally compare the man who wants to marry my friend with her ex boyfriend who has gone to work. Somehow both the faces into one. If I have
to tell the truth their faces are quite similar. But even, the word
'marriage' makes my friend shy and she turns sentimental and runs up to
the roof. The flowers, trees and small plants are dancing with
the music of the wind. Everybody will appreciate me and say, "What a
lovely flower, how pleasant! How charming!" Maybe, people will insert me
into their hair and maybe others will compose poems seeing me.
From the roof of my home, the room of the man can be seen. From his room
where a dim lamp is burning, a continuous tune of violin is heard too.
I came to know that the man also sang, and I don't know why my mind
tempts me to listen to his songs. And really, the man sang songs which
sounded very sweet, indeed. When I listened to his songs, I felt like
submitting myself to the music all through the night, just sitting down
right there. Many pages of my life are blank and I felt like coloring
the blank pages of my life while I listened to the tune of his songs.
My friend told me early in the morning, "Look! that young man comes
today, I have have to give him decision. Your eyes look slightly red,
maybe you went to bed last night quite late." I try to evade her
but in my ears reverberate the tunes of the same songs and somehow,
somewhere, the man's face appears before me. Three men came,
including him. My friend comes out. The man smiles slowly and my friend
feels uncomfortably embarrassed. Why was she feeling so weak and
sentimental? I try to remember my ideal, which includes a life which I wanted to live, and the unexpected struggle to achieve it.
Maybe after marriage, She will be in a bondage. That means she will
have to live like a housewife as she has to spend all her life in his
charity. Where will her ideals go? Her desires will spill
everywhere and she will be lost, unable to control herself within
herself. Without any reason, somehow all of her hopes and imaginations
that crowded inside her just a moment ago, are shattered to pieces. She
feels like running far away from that man. She
observes her mother deeply and find her smiling. The man is talking
about something for the preparations of the wedding. She feels a rush
inside and begins to breathe fast. I too experience a kind of freedom.
Her mother enters inside with a happy face, "What happened to you all of
I started to cry and say, "Mother, she
does want to get married. Please do not force her. She wants to live
freely." Mother said, "She is a woman!
She is not permitted to stay all her life with her mother. Look, she
does not have to be afraid of anything. He has decided not to accept any
monetary gift. And besides, these days it is extremely difficult to
find a good man."
There is a storm blowing and there is a flash
of lightning within me and the heart is shrieking with a terrible
situation. What should I or shouldn't I do for my friend? I don't obey her but stay inside with her.
Journalist and editor Kamala Budhathoki Sarup specializes in reporting news and writing stories covering Freedom, Peace, Public health, Democracy, Women/Children, development, justice and advocacy from her location inside the United States. Human rights, anti-terrorism, and economic development are also part of the work. She is an editor for mediaforfreedom.com. (To promote freedom, democracy, anti-terrorism, Literature, women rights, public health, peace and empowerment (http://mediaforfreedom.com) has a strong role to play). Its activities support in societies undergoing crisis and changes. Ms. Kamala Budhathoki Sarup has also written numerous reports which includes "Women's Empowerment", Prevention of Trafficking in Women Through Media," and "Efforts to Prevent Trafficking for Media Activism." You can see her work online now via her website http://mediaforfreedom.com/. Kamala is a regular contributor to Cape May County Herald. Kamala also was a regular contributor to UPI- Asia News. She also published two Stories collections and several poems. Her interests include philosophy, feminism, political, socio-economic and literature. She also is experienced in organizational and community development. http://mediaforfreedom.com