On August 15, 2013 American 'Bachelor' star Gia Allemands committed suicide, it made me sad. Her NBA star boyfriend Ryan Anderson told her hours before her death, "I don't love you anymore."
On June 15, 2013, Bollywood actress Jiah Khan was found dead in her Juhu apartment in an apparent suicide. Her boyfriend was said to be the only reason behind Jiah's suicide.
My school friend (Manju) (name changed) committed suicide. She was a beautiful friend and her love life transformed into conflict, unloved and dissatisfaction and made her life take a different journey and she committed suicide.
She told me one day, "The idea of home brings fear in me. Therefore, in the morning when I left my home, every time I am discharged with the thought of my possible returning home in the evening. Although the place where my boy friend lives, should be pleasant yet he who don't understand me well, begin to connect all kinds of things at that time. I am mostly sad because he told me he does not love me anymore. Certainly, I remain dissatisfied with myself."
From the moment I first met her, she was quite serious woman. Yes, she was happier when working. She knew that I liked our friendship. It's true that I have seen her walking with a boyfriend. But there is no point in suspecting things just because I saw them walking together two or three times. In the neighborhood there was a big rumor regarding their relationship. It could be a kind of weakness in me that I haven't been probably able to understand their relationship. I do like this kind of relationship between the two of them. Therefore, I didn't attach any special importance to this kind of thing.
"Isn't the translation of love life and relationship into a journey, that's divided into different smaller parts?" She asked me one day. She wanted him every day, morning and evening. She wanted to keep him happy, so she worked very hard. She worked form the morning to evening.
One day, I looked at her and smiled, "You like to work. Life is not easy as we think.?"
She began to speak more loudly, "Neither my so called boy friend lived easily nor did he let me live easily. He has a new girl friend now."
I told her "You haven't understood the meaning of true love at all. The meaning of true relationship is not to keep tied up."
I went on listening what she said about her boy friend. I had friendship with her because we loved each other as a good friends.
She was shouting, "He does not love me and nothing else. As for me, enough of it! I can no longer have this fake relationship with him with all these wants and all this conflict everyday. To be frank, I feel insecure all the time when I am with him. Why? I don't know it myself. Perhaps I discovered it quite late that I made a bad choice to get a boy friend like him."
She went to the other side continually speaking. The evening was getting dark. My eyes were filled with tears exactly like those of the women. I stopped. Just one thing she said continued to pinch me. "Now I can no longer be interested to survive."
If I am to say, women should think they are living a meaningful life. I understand many beautiful women's emotions after they were unloved by their boyfriends or husbands. I feel pain in this way also that many women's partners couldn't offer the love they expected, so they committed suicide. In fact, what these women required most was love. Seeing the hatred, insult and the attitude of selfish individuals they wishes to commit suicide too. Yes, they like to commit suicide. When they know, all the members of the house and the relatives they know are entirely selfish. They are such that they do not even hesitate to create immense pain in their mind.
Days are passing within this room doing nothing. I have not been able to do any special work except reading and re-reading women's feelings. Everywhere there are frustrations, sadness and gloom. Knowing that this young age is for creation for thinking some new ideas, and for making oneself active for immortality, why and how are many women standing at the point heading towards a perennial irresponsibility and disintegrated vision which they have not been able to understand. Once they think they are not being loved, so living has no future. A life has no story. Life is translatable into a void and into an absurd silence. My heart can't believe completely that so many women may be distant from their life, like this and stop living. How long should they sustain a sad life living in the ruined castle of imagination?
She once told me "These days, I have begun to be afraid with the shadows of men and with the opportunistic thought of them. Probably because of being fed up with life I get stung with even the breathing of men. Everywhere there are failure and tragedy!"
How can I write a true poem of life keeping the fresh wounds in the heart that my friend said? That's the reason, when I look up in the sky, there is an overcast cloud.
Therefore, women should remember, in other additions, we have hands, mouths, thoughts or all our activities, which are always in motion, and that's what is called life. This also could be a meaning in life to search for an easiness but to some extent there should be continued happiness living in the journey.
Women should learn that true life and love is unselfish. The meaning of the word 'true love and relationship' is made not only to write, read and speak. There are a variety of purposes of a relationship: some are meant to talk, some are meant to write, some are meant to imagine, and some are meant to keep inside the heart and preserve. Those which come in use, are used but the word preserve should be taken with more care because if one selects it superficially and outwardly, it gives more pain than happiness. Of course, knowing feeling you have to show the reality. You are powerful, beautiful, you will have to escape from a bad relationship in the same way from where a definite journey of life gets to begin.
Never die for a man who does not deserve your love and your worth.
Journalist and editor Kamala Budhathoki Sarup specializes in reporting news and writing stories covering Freedom, Peace, Public health, Democracy, Women/Children, development, justice and advocacy from her location inside the United States. Human rights, anti-terrorism, and economic development are also part of the work. She is an editor for mediaforfreedom.com. (To promote freedom, democracy, anti-terrorism, Literature, women rights, public health, peace and empowerment (http://mediaforfreedom.com) has a strong role to play). Its activities support in societies undergoing crisis and changes. Ms. Kamala Budhathoki Sarup has also written numerous reports which includes "Women's Empowerment", Prevention of Trafficking in Women Through Media," and "Efforts to Prevent Trafficking for Media Activism." You can see her work online now via her website http://mediaforfreedom.com/. Kamala is a regular contributor to Cape May County Herald. Kamala also was a regular contributor to UPI- Asia News. She also published two Stories collections and several poems. Her interests include philosophy, feminism, political, socio-economic and literature. She also is experienced in organizational and community development. http://mediaforfreedom.com