Was that Al Gore or Steven Seagal up on stage contributing to global warming with more liberal hot air?
How fitting that the 79th annual Academy Awards featured former Vice President Al Gore so prominently. Who better to represent the most boring Oscars program in the past 80 years?
The beefy Gore, who could have been mistaken for Steven Seagal, was everywhere at the Oscars, hamming it up in sketches with Leo DiCaprio, walking the red carpet with Tipper and accepting the award for best documentary (like any other movie had a chance on the Left Coast, where liberals migrate by the thousands.)
Were you able to stay awake for the nearly four-hour program? Early indications are that Sunday's show was one of the least-watched Oscars telecast ever.
If you missed it, consider yourself lucky. Here's some highlights. I mean lowlights.
Ellen DeGeneres was by far the worst host in the history of the program. The only mildly-amusing moment for DeGeneres was when she asked Steven Spielberg to take a photo of her and Clinton Eastwood with her digital camera. Otherwise, it was a trainwreck.
Who will host next year's telecast? Rachel Ray? Tyra Banks? Maury Povich? The producers could have their pick of any top tier entertainer in the world and the best they can do is a washed-up daytime talk show host?
My pick to host this year's Oscars was Borat, but nobody listens to me.
Was this the most anti-climatic Oscars ever? Front-runners Helen Mirren of "The Queen," Forest Whitaker of "The Last King of Scotland" and Jennifer Hudson of "Dreamgirls" all won, just like we expected.
Surprises? Not many. Eddie Murphy lost to Alan Arkin of "Little Miss Sunshine" for best supporting actor. A character-actor from the 1960s and 70s, Arking hasn't been in a feature film in about 20 years. That was truly an upset.
A lot of people thought "Happy Feet" winning for feature-length animation category was a surprise, but I had it pegged all along as the winner over "Cars," which won the Golden Globe and was a much bigger box office hit.
The same Hollywood lefties who voted for Al Gore's mockumentary about global warming also voted for "Happy Feet," which is about over-fishing. The Hollywood bunch isn't too bright. They saw penguins on a polar ice cap and thought it was a cartoon version of Al Gore's hot air movie.
Al Bore also deserves an award for the most contrived speech of the night.
"This is not a political issue. It's not a political movie," Gore said about his political movie. "Some of the solutions will have to be worked out within the political sphere, but it really should be bipartisan, and it should be seen as a moral issue. It is the overriding moral issue of our time."
I don't know. I bet I can think of a few more pressing "moral issue of our time" than the global warming hype that liberals are pushing.
And how serious is Al Gore about this issue when he hops aboard a private jet to travel to his next speech against global warming?
How many of those stars arrived at the Academy Awards Sunday in hybrid vehicles? Anybody know how much gas mileage a stretch limo gets?
The other thing about this year's Oscars that bugs me is the rash of foreigners who took the stage. One out of three winners did not speak English. Can we get interpreters next year?
Tony Phyrillas is a leading conservative political columnist and blogger based in Pennsylvania. He is a veteran journalist with 25 years experience as a reporter, editor and columnist for several newspapers. Phyrillas received recognition for column writing in 2010 from the Associated Press Managing Editors, in 2007 from Suburban Newspapers of America and in 2006 from the Society of Professional Journalists, Keystone Chapter. A graduate of Penn State University, Phyrillas is the city editor and political columnist for The Mercury, a two-time Pulitzer Prize-winning daily newspaper in Pottstown, Pa. In addition to The Mercury website (www.pottsmerc.com), his columns are featured on more than a dozen political websites and blogs. Phyrillas is a frequent guest (and occasional host) on talk radio and has been a panelist on the "Journalists Roundtable" public affairs TV program on the Pennsylvania Cable Network (PCN). Phyrillas was named one of the '10 Leading Greek-American Bloggers in the World' in 2007 by Odyssey: The World of Greece magazine. BlogNetNews.com ranked Phyrillas the Most Influential Political Blogger in Pennsylvania for three consecutive years (2007-2010). You can follow Phyrillas on Twitter @TonyPhyrillas