"I am the illegal alien of commentary.
I will do the jokes that no one else will do."
It sounds kind of silly to imply that a conservative has the status of a rock star, but Ann Coulter might be the closest rightists come to a figure who makes the news merely by breathing. In recent years she has become an icon, and just about everyone interested in politics has an opinion about her…and usually those opinions are emphatic.
The amazon.com reviews for her latest book, If Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd Be Republicans, a collection of quotations from her sizable oeuvre, aptly reveals the split in the public’s perception. At the time of this writing, the compendium has 121 Five Star (excellent) ratings and 105 One Star (terrible) ratings with not a whole lot in between. This is entirely appropriate and Coulter wouldn’t want it any other way.
For conservatives the reasons to admire her are readily apparent. Coulter is a one woman battalion who says things most of us may think but are too civil (or fearful) to say out loud. Yes, albeit unfortunate, the side wishing to preserve western civilization is largely populated by kindly, deferential types who eschew conflict. The majority of us make for poor combatants in the culture war. This state of affairs makes Coulter’s value all the more pronounced. Furthermore, her enemies, for the most part, are our enemies as well, and such a commonality has forged the basis for countless political alliances over the centuries.
Coulter’s fame and esteem among rightists is cause enough for the left to hate her. Indeed, to say she is the Democratic Party’s least favorite conservative is not an understatement. The ever bloviating Ted Kennedy remarked this spring, “Ann Coulter's words of hate have no place in the public sphere much less our political discourse.” Well, there’s no hate in her statements, but clearly she has as much a right to offend as anyone else in America—particularly if she is provoking outrage from our cowardly, statist politicians. In comparison to Senator Kennedy, I find her observations downright soothing.
At least the monstrous drunkard from Massachusetts was content to attack her with rhetoric alone. In the past, other radicals have thrown pies at her, sabotaged her biographical entry on Wikipedia, arranged to have jumped on television shows, and spun rumors that she is a transvestite.
Pseudo-liberal outrage over her utterances is but self-parody as Coulter says what she does in the hopes of provoking her enemies. Her tactics have been enormously successful. PC automatons line up on television to express their self-righteous condemnation practically every time she opens her mouth. Their animosity and invective showcase that it is they, as opposed to the blond Page Six entry, who are the real haters in our society. Their faux indignation only serves to highlight their own shallowness and conformity, however.
The left’s ire in regards to Coulter is chiefly a result of two factors. First, emotion—as opposed to detached logical evaluation—is the essence of her fame and reputation. Despite the outstanding intellectual arguments she sometimes makes, her affective responses are the reason for why she is a household name. This is deeply resented by pseudo-liberals because they see her style as one which subsumes their own. Without emotion and conclusions based on irrational premises there would be no Democratic Party and no political left whatsoever.
Coulter’s humorous advice, “[j]ust call them traitors and let them sort it out,” inflames her foes as she uses their methods against them. Where would sensitivity statists in America be without the brandishing of isms? Answer: Out of office. If they could not dub their opponents names like racist then they would have to explain why they hold government and “the poor” to be synonymous terms. That’s the second to last thing they want. The first are opponents every bit as rude as they are.
Her ridicule is something they cannot handle. Radical feminists are well known for their obtuseness and lack of wit so imagine how irate they become after hearing Coulter describe an ideal abstinence kit as containing “an 8x10 glossy of Susan Estrich.” That is a hysterical quip, but also one that is highly accurate.
Truth is the second reason for the left’s disdain. Nothing infuriates them more than the truth and Coulter pronounces it publicly on a regular basis. “Veritas parit odium,” the truth begets hatred, which is exactly what happens when one shares reality with our elites; those same elites who look down on us from their perches atop government, the universities, and the mainstream media. They prefer not to be reminded of the fact that most of their state-sponsored “solutions” only manage to exacerbate existing social pathologies. These magnates prefer to play pretend games wherein their every socialist inclination ends up “helping” someone.
Coulter elucidates this eventuality in the following sentence: “[E]very time the government tries to help the poor it ends up removing the marvelous incentives life provides to do things like buy an alarm clock, get a job, keep your knees together before marriage, and generally become a productive, happy member of society.” Short, irreverent, funny, and also more descriptive of the dole than anything ever spun by Nancy Pelosi or Barack Obama.
Yes, calling someone a traitor is not an effective argument in itself, but it does aptly describe the mindset of the PC-nik. These individuals regard America as being a racist, sexist entity so why on earth would they ever want to defend it? Answer: They wouldn’t. They pray [sic] that our shores soon become inhabited by new diverse peoples who will assuage their pseudo-liberal guilt by transplanting our indigenous culture with charming societal accoutrements such as Sharia or election via coup d’etat.
These leftists care nothing for our Constitution and wish to breathe life into it…until it is dead. To them, America will always be “Amerika.” With sophist ease they have redefined patriot with its antonym. The word now refers to a person who reflexively criticizes their own country whenever possible. Clearly, traitor is a term which embodies them.
The mainstream media responds to Coulter the entertainer, but makes a point of ducking her logical arguments. They depict her as being an airhead yet she knows her foes far better than they know themselves. Even her intentionally outrageous stuff—“Most newspapers in the red states-even nice states like Mississippi-are run by loser liberals who rub their foreskin while reading the New York Times”—illustrates the depth of her analysis. Journalists and yuppies are the only two remaining groups of Americans who retain any admiration for the slanted operation that once dubbed itself, “the paper of record.”
I am very grateful for her presence in the public square; although, duty necessitates my providing prospective purchasers of If Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd Be Republicans with a warning. Those readers who already own her books would be wise to pass on this one. There’s precious little here that hasn’t been said (and excoriated) before. Besides, one can access her online columns for free.
In summation, in regards to Ms. Coulter, I have said it before but will say it again—she may be the most important conservative in America. Not only is the scorn she showers upon the left well-deserved, it also enables her peers to speak freely. Like Valderrama, Ballack, Zidane or any other brilliant soccer midfielder, Coulter’s thrusts and counterstrokes create space within which the rest of us can roam and prosper. We should be allowed to say what we want in our private lives without fear of termination, prison or banishment.
I will concede that the uttering of verboten syllables is not a cause for celebration, but by lampooning PC she helps roll back the invasive boundaries of the sensitivity state. We badly need her. Whatever one thinks of her personality, all rightists owe her a debt of gratitude because everyday she acts as a lightning rod…on our behalf.
Bernard Chapin is the author of Women: Theory and Practice and Escape from Gangsta Island. He can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org.