Topic category: Other/General
GM in the Year Twenty-Twelve Proclaims What Its Lobbying Swelled-- Inducements to Dolts for Purchasing Volts Through Offsets on Taxes Compelled.
For Earth-friendly driving on streets, the Volt is replacing the Beat as GM's top line of autos in line with that which Obama decreed. GM in the Year Twenty-Twelve proclaims what its lobbying swelled-- inducements to dolts for purchasing Volts through offsets on taxes compelled.
For Earth-friendly driving on streets, the Volt is replacing the Beat as GM's top line of autos in line with that which Obama decreed. GM in the Year Twenty-Twelve proclaims what its lobbying swelled-- inducements to dolts for purchasing Volts through offsets on taxes compelled. Perhaps you've detected these lines are written in rhythm and rhyme-- If so, cursor-down, 'cause more will be found as limericks in stanzas and lines:
GM
in the Year Twenty-Twelve
proclaims what its lobbying swelled--
inducements to dolts
for purchasing Volts
through offsets on taxes compelled:
We're
hoping our lobbying verve
yields changes for bending the curve
from market commands
(supply and demand),
so Government Planning is served.
Such
offsets are really much mo'
than offsets against taxes owed --
Instead, they are credits
from government debits
disbursed as entitlements owed.
And
also, it's wise to remember
our previous plans to dismember
supply and demand
as much as we can,
so Earth won't get hotter than embers.
Such
things we've accomplished you ought
consider as food for your thoughts--
e.g., we designed
the 'GTxi'
shown here
by the Iowa Hawk:
But
that isn't all-- there are more
examples that brought to the fore
renewable sources
for energy sources
for which we bought patents from Gore.
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GM Gore-Mobile from PoliticalXray a.k.a. PoliSat.Com on Vimeo. |
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But
now, in our marketing Volts
for purchase by regular folks
we've learned we can't sell
our Volts very well
to others than liberal dolts.
Since
carrots alone cannot fix
this problem, we'll have to use sticks
to punish consumers
not later but sooner
when regular autos they pick.
Inspired
by Al Gore's carbon offsets,
we'll fix it with marketing offsets:
"Buy Volts," we implore,
"but if you buy Fords,
from us you must buy GM OffsetsTM."
For
us (Gov'ment Motors) the goal's
the same as Obama foretold
for coal in '08
(on
video saved):
Destroying
the market for coal.
And
thus, for consumers so bold
as not to support Barack's goal
by purchasing Fords,
our "Offsets" will force
on Ford the same fate to greet coal.
But
yet there's a fly in the ointment
of claiming the Volt will fight warming
since batteries, we know,
in Volts may explode
and burn-- thereby adding to warming.
And
therefore, Al Gore is imploring
our plants to convert for restoring
the Gore-Mobile line
which he had designed
for Methane-Propulsion exploring.
So,
now that we've got your attention,
we yield to Al Gore to dimension
his insights attained
and proudly explain
what led to his Greatest Invention:
I've
long been proposing with zeal
improvement of automobiles
that warming be ended
and so I've invented
a car named the Al Gore Mobile.
I
always stay right up to date
on ev'rything science can make
So I knew of course a new fuel source:
We now can refine human waste.
This
auto will please the whole nation,
'cause no one will need service stations
And if you ask me
just how this can be,
I'll give you a quick explanation:
The
obsolete gasoline tank
will yield to a nice septic tank
And old drivers' seats
become toilet seats
so drivers can fill their own tanks.
For
health, this will lead to improvement
'cause drivers will learn to fine-tune it
by eating more grain
to not have to "strain"
to get 50 miles to the movement.
--Jim Wrenn, Editor and Washington Bureau Drawer Chief at PoliticalXray.Com.
Permanent
Links to this installment:
http://PoliSat.Com/GM-Update-2012.htm.
http://polisat.com/DailyPoliticalSatire-Commentary/Archives2012/du20y12m02d19-01.htm .
Jim Wrenn
Political Satire/Commentary at PoliSat.Com (Editor)
Biography - Jim Wrenn
Jim is a proud descendant of 18th Century criminal exiles from England who swam to the Outer Banks when the British ship taking them to a Georgia penal colony sank in a storm near Cape Hatteras. Having the prescience to prevent their descendants from becoming "TarHeels," they immediately migrated to Virginia, where, within just a few generations they worked their way up into poverty. Jim's grandfather was the first in the family tree to see the distant horizons, but his career was cut short by severe injuries he sustained when a cousin cut down the tree.
After a brief stint in the Amry (ours) following graduation from law school, he began his legal career in the state bureaucracy but was never able to break into the federal bureaucracy. Several years later, he entered the private practice of law and co-founded a small law publishing company. Later, finding the publishing of small laws unstimulating and finding his private practice too private to be lucrative, he began writing political satire/commentary. His greatest vice is taking himself too seriously.
He wrote the definitive books on the Clinton Era Error: the Clinton Liebrary Book (pre-October, 2000), which he later updated as the Clinton Liebrary Book 2001 Edition to include Election 2000, the post-election shennanigans, and related events through August, 2001. The 2001 edition is the only known literary source that conclusively shows why Bill Clinton pardoned Susan McDougal but not Webster Hubbel. It also presciently contains the Billary/Hillary Dueling Memoirs. At every opportunity he shamelessly promotes his books for orders on-line or by fax at www.ClintonLiebraryBook.Com. He's also the Librarian at the Clinton Liebrary (www.ClintonLiebrary.Com), which owns exclusive rights to Bill Clinton's most famous speech as well as Bill Clinton's comments after revelation of the identity of Deep Throat in 2005.
As an amateur scientist as well as a scientific amateur, he de-bunks the man-is-causing-Global "Warming" theory, and predicts that by the middle of the 21st Century (when he will be safely dead) physicists will discover the obvious flaws in Einstein's Theory of Relativity, which will lead to vastly-faster-than-light travel through polarization of gravity. As a constitutional-law scholar, he's trying to teach those who hold a static, zero-sum-game view of economic and social theories to understand that "property" is not a "thing" but rather is a human right.
Although he regularly teaches Continuing Legal Education courses to lawyers, he's too-often available through he Rubber Chicken Speakers Bureau to speak on politics, satire, etc., at luncheons, dinners, root canals, funerals, etc. His speaking fees are so outrageously high they border on criminal price-gouging, but as a free-market advocate, he defends his fees on the higher moral ground of charging whatever the traffic will bear. For more information (surely more than one would want or need), go to www.PoliSat.Com.